Entry#7.  3/30/2022

I speak Japanese at home all the time, so as my husband and our son. People might wonder how my brain (language part) works for 2 languages. When I was an assistant school-librarian, I used to warn my boss about my loss of English-function right after summer break. In fact, I lost “English processor in my brain”.  Because I didn’t speak English much during summer, I sounded so odd when school started. On the other hand, I’ve lived in US so long since 2001, my Japanese tongue got “old”, drained. I often feel like I don’t speak properly both English and Japanese. Funny. Fortunately my friends are always patient with me and understand my thinking. I’m grateful.  When I was in ICU for my husband, I was asked many times, I was offered interpreter service. I politely declined. Even under that tough circumstance, I preferred to communicate in English, making notes and asking questions with written words. It worked anyway. I got a good relationship with ICU nurses which made me comfortable there. During hospital stays, one of my friends gave me a book, have a little faith by Mitch Albom. I loved it. Then I found another title by this same author, Tuesdays with Morrie. I bought it and in fact loved it more. But I cheated this time because I read it in Japanese. (!)  Sometimes I struggle some processes because of my language skill. I never get fluent in English, it’s obvious. But I love communicating with people anyway. That’s me. Our boy-dog, Ranger understands Japanese, not much English. Our dog-sitter friends have to say Japanese to command Ranger. Did I get your smile? 

Entry#06. 03/28/2022

I’ve experienced many kinds of emotions since July 2021. Shocked. Panicked. Scared. Emptiness. Sadness. Awfulness. Pleaded for my husband’s life. That was the scariest moment in my life. Then relieved for each tiny progress he made in the hospital. I overjoyed when I saw his smile, when I heard his voice back, when I saw he started eating again. I’m sure that I looked overreacting very much. Happiness and gratitude when he was home. Then Reality hit us severely. Learned more details and specific situations/conditions. Confused. Lost. Persistent. Waiting. Patient.
And “Resilient”.
I received many cards from wonderful friends from near and far. The timings were always just right. Also, all of a sudden, people showed up in front of my house to check on me. Then people’s energy soothed me and cheered me on. The timing was just perfect in many ways.  That’s why I love people. Connecting with people is the key no matter what circumstance is. That’s why we can move forward. Now I can say “we do hard things slowly”. I got this card today. Love the saying very much. I put “the greeting hen” on a tree today looking at the shining sun!

Entry#05.  03/26/2022
When the pandemic hit and a stay-at-home order happened in spring 2020, I made a signboard putting by my mailbox. I switched a message every single day. It turned out 90 messages total! I simply enjoyed it showing it to my neighbors. Sometimes I got responses. That was a bonus. I think it's because of my English conversation skill level. As you can see here in my blog, it is a "younger kids' level". I always want to express my feelings somehow even though they are very simple easy words. It is a same concept about chalk drawing messages. I just love it and made about 10 messages to high school students. Most of the time, it's for my satisfaction. And if it makes someone smile, that'd be just wonderful. Now we have a "cappuccino cup tower" in our house. Each cup has some drawings, messages on it. They are from baristas, my husband's thoughtful baristas. During cold winter, when my husband couldn't visit a coffee shop, each cappuccino made him smile. Additional deliciousness!

Entry#04.  3/25/2022

I didn't notice about the idea of "clearance under the sink/table" for wheelchair users. Knee clearance and toe clearance. I even didn't notice that hot water pipe causes leg burn injury if it doesn't have a protective cover. When I've learned about it, it blew my mind really. Thinking about the heights happened to me easily and naturally. But it was a bit different idea about a mirror in front of the sink. It's angled so that my husband can see better, has more visible area (face and upper body). I'm still learning more and more everyday. At least I can tell that I have my routine when I go out with my husband and it naturally happens to me now. I check these with a quick glance. •entrance doorway •table height •knee clearance and toe clearance •restroom space ✔️   It is good to learn and great to know about wheelchair users. 

Entry#03.  3/24/2022
I've got a surprise gift on Valentine's Day. It was a LOVE JAR. There were 40 messages in it. They are from my wonderful sweet friends in town. I couldn't stop crying reading each messages. Tears came out more and more. I'm thankful for having so many thoughtful friends near and far. They give me more energy. I love people. 

Entry#02.   3/23/2022
I've been feeling bad and sorry for my husband about Acute care hospitalizing and Outpatient rehabilitation right after ICU stays. Honestly I had no idea what the best process was. Recently I learned about Shepherd Center in Atlanta, GA and Craig hospital in Denver, CO. I should have taken my husband to one of these facilities as soon as he was discharged from Acute care. Seems that was the best way and he needed their special programs. That was a MUST. However I didn't. I had no idea, I didn't know it at all. I was only focusing on bringing him home. I didn't do deep search to find these kind of special facilities. It might have been different and much much better for his therapy and mental stuff. That's why I feel very sorry for my husband. 
https://www.shepherd.org/
https://craighospital.org/

On the other hand, my husband is a biologist and he searched many stuffs about spinal cord injury following the latest news and clinical trial news. He teaches me something about these as well. I'm grateful that he is on top of that information, keep looking for some possibilities and keep looking up. We didn't take a chance for Shepherd Center and Craig Hospital. But he now connects with Frazier rehabilitation institute in Louisville, KY. He found it and reached out to them by himself. I'm so grateful for his searching and action. 

https://www.uoflhealthnetwork.org/frazier-rehab-institute

Entry#01.   3/17/2022

Our son turned 20. He is a rock climber, loving mountaineering in CO, skiing, cycling, pottery throwing, building his own climbing walls in our house, trail running and so on. We drove down to Cincinnati area, had a great meal and stopped by for the great view by the river. It was for our very first time since the accident. It was for our son's celebration. We do our routine before we park our car. Is it wheelchair accessible or not? Check ✔️ In these days, I'm thankful for the places and parkings where my husband can access with his wheelchair. I was smiling all the time with my boys. It was just a casual outing but it was so much special to me at that moment feeling very normalcy for us, three of us.